


Pick-Up Sticks

by Willa Shakespeare (AnonEhouse)



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Crack and Porn, Happy Ending, M/M, Shore Leave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-16 17:54:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1356583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Willa%20Shakespeare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liberator's crew stops for shore leave. Blake intends to get laid. Avon is looking to pick a fight but he decides Blake's idea has merit.</p><p>Unfortunately Blake chooses someone else for his recreation, and in a fit of pique, Avon makes a poor decision. Ow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick-Up Sticks

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

The bar was dimly lit and cool, which appealed to Avon strongly at the moment. He'd been so furious with Blake when he teleported down that he hadn't bothered to check the climate on their randomly chosen shore leave planet; 'randomly' chosen from a short list that Blake found acceptable. None of which remotely appealed to Avon as a bolt-hole, which he'd refrained from pointing out. Blake's eyes had laughed at him, the little crinkles at the corner mocking him. He knew. Well, Avon was damn well going to have a good time, even if his leathers were sticking to his thighs and he couldn't see a damn thing. He made his way up to the bar; people didn't contest his right to push them aside. Pity, he was in the mood for a fight.

Blake was annoyed when he was jostled by some prat who'd just come up to the bar. He sucked the alcohol off his fingers from his spilled drink and shot a glare at the man. "Do you mind?" Blake said, using the 'not a macho leader' voice he'd always employed for holidays, back long before he'd left Earth. It took him a moment to recognize Avon, but when he did, he didn't change his expression.

Avon still couldn't see a thing. One of these days he really was going to have to get his eyes attended to. Some day he was going to shoot the wrong person, or worse, miss shooting the right person. He waved the bartender over without looking at the man who had complained, or really listening to him. "Yes, I mind. I need a drink worse than you could possibly imagine." Maybe he'd start a fight. That would be good. Avon's always enjoyed a good barroom brawl. Good, clean violence. Yes. He was itching to take out his anger on someone.

"Oh, trust me, I think I could." Blake turned back to the bartender. "I'll have another, since this clumsy sod made me spill the last one."

Dark as the place was, Avon could see the man was big. Fine, he wanted a challenge. He grabbed the man by the shoulder and spun him round, bringing his face under one of the few lights. "Blake!" Avon recoiled as if he'd just grabbed a live wire. "What are you doing here?"

Blake raised an eyebrow at Avon's obtuseness. Self-centered prat. "The name's Devon. And I'm drinking and looking to get laid. Now, really, if you don't mind." He turned back to the bar and picked up his appletini. He sipped it and turned to survey the bar.

Ah." Avon looked around the bar with fresh eyes. Maybe getting laid would be even better than a fight for a tension reliever. But not with Blake, God no. "See any good prospects?"

"Yes, but find your own." Blake caught the eye of a big, bear-type across the room and he smiled.

"How about a wager? First one to score gets to choose the next shore leave venue?" Avon turned his back to the bar and leaned against it, flaunting himself and his tight leathers.

"Why would I make that wager? Avon, I'm not an idiot, no matter what you might think. You're far more attractive than I am." Yes, the bear seemed very interested in him, and hopefully wasn't in a mood to waste time on conversation. He really, really needed a fuck. The unresolved sexual tension on _Liberator_ had him contemplating alternate uses for his hand gun.

"If you think that, you're an idiot. You should have taken the wager." Avon had noticed the man approaching Blake.

Blake was mildly flattered by Avon's words, but then that bear of a man was standing in front of him, touching his cheek with rough fingers and asking his name. To hell with Avon. "Devon," Blake said, smiling. "And you?"

Avon was surprised to feel the urge to say that 'Devon' belonged to him. He restained the impulse and ordered another drink. Maybe if at least one of them got laid, things would be less tense on the flight deck for a while.

"Bernard," the bear said, and Blake almost laughed. They talked softly; Bernard was a toucher; Blake's hair, his cheek, the exposed bit of chest peeking from his unbuttoned shirt. Before he knew it, they were kissing, Bernard's tongue fucking his mouth, his hand wrapped around Blake's hips. Bernard broke the kiss and suggested they go up to the room he had upstairs. Blake said, "Yes, oh, yes."

It was all very well to reason things out, but it didn't help the acid churning in Avon's stomach. He wanted very badly to smash something. If not the smug face of the man caressing Blake, then at least the mirror behind the bar, where Avon's own face mocked him. And then he saw the man behind him, wistfully watching. He wasn't young, or handsome, or fit, but the hunger in his eyes appealed to Avon. Avon let their gazes lock, giving him a slight nod. "My dear boy," the man said after a few minutes conversation, in which Avon might just possibly have mentioned his resentment of his erstwhile commander, "you are a natural leader. Greed, egotism, animal cunning, and viciousness are the important attributes. Qualities I detect in you in admirably full measure." 

Avon smirked and tossed back more of the drink that had been magically refilling itself. "I didn't come here to be... flattered."

"You came here out of curiosity and because you scented there might be something in it for you, mm, am I right?" The man smiled like a crocodile. "I have a room, fitted with the most delightful toys."

Avon finished his drink. "Why not? Show me what you have."

 

Bernard was just rough enough, and big enough, to scratch Blake's itch. He moaned and thrashed and scrambled against the sheets.They were cuddling afterward when Blake heard the scream. "What the hell was that?"

Bernard grunted in a disinterested tone, "Oh, Egrorian probably picked up someone at the bar."

"Egrorian?"

"A monster who likes to give a little too much pain."

 

It was all going quite well until Egrorian dislocated Avon's arm. Avon screamed loud enough to hurt his own ears. He struggled to get free from his spread-eagle position on the bed, but Egrorian hadn't used the quick-release knots Avon requested. "I'll kill you."

Egrorian smiled and picked up a pillow. "Oh, I don't think so, dear boy. But if you're going to be that way about it...I pay them quite well here. They understand that accidents happen." He giggled insanely as he put the pillow over Avon's face and leaned on it.

 

"I'll be back," Blake told Bernard as he got dressed. It would spoil his memory of this shore leave if someone was murdered within earshot. Sometimes it was a nuisance having a conscience. "I've got to check that out."

"I wouldn't."

"Well, I would. Which room?"

Bernard told him and then rolled over in bed. "Don't be long."

 

Blake went out into the hallway and unlocked the door to Egrorian's room; he'd have to thank Vila for the lessons later. Seeing the fat man leaning over a tied-down victim, pressing a pillow onto his face was all it took to convince Blake this wasn't normal sado-masochism. Certainly not for a casual bar-pickup. He snatched up a suspiciously convenient fire poker and bashed the man's head with maybe a little more enthusiasm than necessary. He'd been enjoying his cuddle, damn it.

Blake cursed softly when removing the pillow revealed a semi-conscious Avon. Sad to say, he really wasn't surprised. Something about Avon made people want to knock him out. Probably because he looked pretty when he wasn't talking. He untied Avon and lifted him into his arms. "Avon, wake up. Could you do that? Could you wake up for me?"

Avon drew a sharp breath and shook his head. He saw Blake. "Oh. Fuck."

"You have very bad luck in choosing partners, I think," Blake said, ignoring Avon's scowl. He carried Avon to Bernard's room and set him on the bed. "Do you want to go back to the ship?"

"Not really. Not like this." Avon grimaced and gestured down his nude body with his good arm. "But I suppose I'll have to ask Cally to put my shoulder back. It actually... really... hurts."

Bernard looked at Blake and sighed. "I'm a med-tech. This is a simple anterior dislocation, so I can reduce it and relieve most of the pain. He'll still need proper attention, later."

Avon looked at Bernard. "I'd appreciate your assistance."

Bernard grunted and got to his feet. "This will hurt."

Blake set Avon down, but didn't let him go. He smiled. "I appreciate this, too."

Bernard leered. "Enough for another go?"

"Oh, yes."

Bernard took hold of Avon's arm at the wrist and just above the elbow. Hold him tight, Devon." To Avon he said, "Are you ready?"

Avon looked across the room at a print of two costumed wrestlers. "Ready." Avon managed not to shout again, but it was a near thing. He jerked in Blake's grasp and then passed out, flopping back onto the bed.

"Got it the first time," Bernard said with satisfaction after examining Avon's shoulder.

"That was very sexy." Blake moved Avon over to make room on the bed and sat down. "Why don't I show you how much?"

Bernard grinned. "I like the way you think." He sat next to Blake and kissed him.

"I love having your cock inside of me," Blake said.

Avon woke up and was disgruntled to see Blake and Bernard in a clinch right next to him. "Don't mind me."

"You shouldn't move that arm," Bernard said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "But I think if you stay where you are, Devon could suck your cock while I fuck him." 

Blake's reaction was so positive, Avon could see it from where he was lying. "I seldom argue with my physician's advice," Avon said. 

Bernard pulled away and manhandled Blake to his knees. He didn't bother preparing Blake, but just shoved in. Blake moaned and leaned down to suck the head of Avon's cock. Avon gasped and brought his good arm up so he could play with Blake's hair. He had always wanted to do that.

Blake took all of Avon into his mouth and reached up to rub his nipples. He was going to be sore when this night was over and he didn't care. One up his arse, one shoved down his throat; he was in heaven.

Avon was whimpering now, as he tried to hold out. He was competing with Bernard, but he did have one advantage. Blake was coming back to the ship with him.

Blake was moaning around Avon's cock. He was going to come any second now. He... he... OH! 

Blake's reaction was enough to trigger Avon's orgasm. He jerked up, and had an interesting moment where the protest of his shoulder mingled with the pleasure. Bernard came right after them. 

Blake slumped across Avon's belly. " 'm exhausted."

"Mmm..." Avon agreed while running his hand through Blake's hair.

"So am I. But I would still like a cuddle," Bernard complained. Blake flopped around so that he could cuddle both Avon and Bernard.

Avon turned towards Blake and put his arm around him. He said softly, "Sometimes I quite like you."

Blake smiled and stroked Avon's hair. "The feeling's quite mutual."

Avon dozed off. Blake pulled Bernard over for a kiss and more lazy cuddling. Avon snored. After awhile, Bernard looked at his chronometer and said he had to go, or he'd be late for his shift. Blake wished him good bye and good luck, and waited until Bernard left the room before he shook Avon.

"Ah!" Avon woke up and gingerly rubbed his sore shoulder. "What is it?"

"We should teleport up before your friend wakes." Egrorian _probably_ would wake up. Maybe. Not that Blake really cared.

"Should have killed him. Then I could get some more sleep." Avon yawned and sat up. "Oh, hell. I fell asleep on you, didn't I?"

"That's all right. Bernard kept me busy." Blake gave Avon a lazy smile. "Very busy."

Avon was disgruntled. "I usually fall asleep." He ran his good hand through his hair. "It's the one cure for insomnia that works for me. When I don't get enough sleep, I get bitchy."

"I'll have to remember that." Blake tossed Avon a blanket. "Cover yourself. Unless you want to give Cally a cheap thrill."

"Wait! Where are my clothes?"

"From the looks of it, your previous partner cut them off."

"Fuck. I _liked_ those trousers." Avon got up and wrapped the blanket around himself toga-wise, glad that he still had his bracelet. "All right, I'm as ready as I'll be."

Blake dressed, then brought his bracelet up to his mouth. "Cally? Avon and I are ready for teleport."

Avon set his face in total non-expression as they teleported up, daring anyone to comment on his lack of attire.

Cally looked at Avon. Avon looked at her. "Is there something wrong, Avon?" Cally asked, serious as ever. Avon could never tell if she was giggling madly behind that expression.

"Avon dislocated his arm, Cally. A friend set it, but it still needs a look," Blake said breezily as he took Avon's bracelet and slotted it in next to his in the rack.

"Oh. Yes, of course." Cally looked puzzled. "You know, he did not need to disrobe completely for that."

"Oh, I'll tell him if I ever see him again." Avon gave Cally a look. "Could we get on with it?"

"I see that your temper has not improved." Cally set Orac by the teleport to take over and then moved to assist Avon.

Blake smirked. "Have fun."

Avon showed his teeth, and pulled his blanket tighter around himself. "Thank you." He stalked off with Cally, unaware that there was a rip in the blanket behind him.

Blake waited until they were gone, then he laughed so hard his stomach hurt.


End file.
